In the Line of Duty
by Mythica1138
Summary: How does Castle react when Beckett is shot?


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"…9…10…11…"

"_Officer down! Repeat… officer down! We need an ambulance to…"_

He could hear them in the background, but he couldn't lose focus. "…12…13…14…15…" His hands were covered in blood, but he didn't care. He had to keep her alive.

Time seemed to stand still. He had no idea how long he had been there, but it took someone grabbing him and pulling him back for him to realize help had arrived. As he stood up, he couldn't take his eyes off of her as she lay there not moving. The paramedics could help her, he knew that, but it didn't keep the fear from creeping into his heart. What if she didn't make it? There was so much he hadn't told her. Would he ever get the chance?

They kept working on her, as she was loaded into the ambulance. Almost as if by instinct, he walked over and tried to climb in with her, but the paramedic stopped him with a forceful hand.

"Let us do our job," he said sternly before turning and climbing in, closing the doors behind him. As the ambulance drove off, he just stared as if frozen. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. What if she didn't make it?

"Come on," he heard as he felt someone's hand on his arm. "Let's get to the hospital."

The hospital. Right. That's where she was going. He had to get there, but he just couldn't move as he watched the ambulance disappear down the street.

"Come on, Castle." At the mention of his name, he turned to see Kevin Ryan grabbing his arm. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>The ride to the hospital was a blur. How could this have happened? In all of the times they had gone to arrest someone, nothing like this had ever happened. She doesn't get shot. He always made sure of that, but not this time. This time was different. As he looked down at his bloody hands, he went over the scene in his head dozens of times. How could he have not gotten there? He wasn't fast enough. He hadn't gotten there in time and she paid the price. He should have been faster. He saw the man with the gun. Did he hesitate? Why would he hesitate? He never did before. He should have been faster. It should be him in that ambulance. It should be him.<p>

"Castle, we're there."

Looking up, he saw his friend and realized he was standing outside the car with the door open, just waiting for him to get out of the car. As he reached for the door to steady himself, he caught a glimpse of his bloody hands and stopped. Pulling his hands back, he slowly got out of the car, trying not to touch anything. It was her blood. Her blood.

There was so much commotion in the emergency department. As soon as he walked through the door, his pace picked up. She was here somewhere. Where was she? Grabbing the first person he saw in hospital scrubs, he begged, "Where is she?"

"I'm sorry?" the woman asked, obviously shaken by the force by which he had grabbed her.

"Detective Beckett," he clarified as he felt someone trying to pull his hands off of the nurse. "Where is she?"

"In room 4, but…" He didn't let her finish as he let go and headed down the hall. "… you can't go in there!" He saw the door to the emergency ward and he had to know. He had to know.

"Castle, stop!" Ryan had grabbed his arm and stopped his momentum before he had a chance to get to the door. "They're doing all they can. Just let them do their job."

"It should have been me," he whispered as his tears finally started to fall. He could see commotion through the window of the door. Something was going on. "I should have stopped him."

"There was nothing you could have done." Another voice pierced his ears as he felt another hand on his other arm.

His body tensed up when he saw them wheel her out of the room and down the hall away from him. As they disappeared around the corner, he let his eyes fall as his tears fell to the floor.

"Just tell me you got him," he begged, as if the news would make him feel any better.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he tuned to see Javier Esposito giving him a nod. "Yeah… we got him."

He wanted the news to make him feel better, but it didn't. Looking back towards the window and down the empty corridor, he said a silent prayer. She had to be all right.

* * *

><p>He had never known time to be so slow as he sat in the waiting room, head in his hands, his fingers gripping his hair in desperation. It had been so long. What was taking them so long? They hadn't heard anything since the first doctor had come out to tell them she was going into surgery. The bullet had missed her heart, but just barely. It was lodged in her chest and they had to get it out. There was a concern though because of the amount of blood she had lost. He knew all about that. He had so much on his hands.<p>

Once the doctor had left, Ryan had convinced him to finally go wash off her blood from his hands. As the water washed over his hands, he watched as it carried her blood down the drain. So much blood. How could anyone survive losing that much blood? Looking up at the mirror, he saw his own tired face with his bloodshot eyes. Had he been crying? He didn't remember. All he could remember was seeing her fall. It all seemed like such a bad dream.

_He was running. He had seen her fall as the shot rang out. He had managed to knock the weapon away, but not before he had fired. When he finally got to her, she seemed to be gasping for air as a stain of red spread on her blouse._

"_Castle…" she gasped as he knelt over her._

"_Stay with me," he said in a panic as he put his hands over her wound to try to stop the bleeding. "Stay with me, Kate."_

"_Castle…"_

"_SOMEBODY HELP!" he shouted as he looked around in desperation._

"_Cas…"_

_She couldn't even complete his name as her eyes closed and he felt her go limp. "NO!" he cried as he bent down to check her breathing. She wasn't breathing! "CPR…" he thought, trying to remember his training. It had been so long since that class. What was he suppose to do?_

_Pulling his hands from her wound, he adjusted her head to open her airway as he leaned down and breathed life into her. He could see her chest rising and falling so he knew he was doing it right. Without really thinking, he folded his hands over her heart and started compressions. How many was it again? "1… 2… 3… 4…"_

Closing his eyes, he tried to shut the memory out, but it was too vivid: Too real. How much more of this could he take? It had been so long since they had heard anything. Why was it taking so long?

"Dad…"

His head shot up as he heard his daughter's voice. He stood as she ran over to him, enveloping him in her comforting arms. A small sigh came from his lips as he kissed Alexis on the head.

"We came as soon as we heard," Martha explained as she walked over to join in the embrace.

"Thanks, Mom," he said softly, not wanting to let either one of them go. They were his rock: His anchor. He knew they would be there for him if…

"Have they told you anything yet?" Alexis asked as she looked up and saw her father's tired face.

"She's in surgery," he managed to explain as he voice shook. "The bullet…" He had to pause before saying more. It was just too much to try to explain it to them.

Esposito could see that his emotions were too heightened for him to be able to explain. "The bullet missed her heart," he finished, "but she's lost a lot of blood. They're in surgery now to remove the bullet and try to stabilize her."

Martha nodded as she reached to touch her son's face. "You have to have hope," she told him. "She's strong. She can get through this."

He could feel the tears flowing again as he managed a slight nod. "I can't… I can't lose her," he managed to say. "I never told her…"

"Shhhh…" Martha returned to the embrace as Alexis buried her face in her father's chest. "You'll be able to tell her when she's better."

Nodding again, he gripped his family closer. When she's better, he kept telling himself. He would tell her everything when she's better.

"Mr. Castle?"

The sound of the doctor's voice immediately got his attention as he looked up and pulled away to hear the news. "How is she?"

"Well, we were able to remove the bullet," he explained as he let out a tired sigh, "but she's not out of the woods yet. She lost a lot of blood. The next few hours will be crucial. We'll just have to wait and see."

"Can I see her?" he pleaded.

The doctor sighed as he looked around to the other people listening to his report. "She's still sedated," he explained, "and we would generally only let immediate family see her."

Immediate family. His heart sunk. Her father. He hadn't called her father. He wasn't her family. He wasn't even her boyfriend. How could he get in to see her?

"He's her partner." Looking back to the voice, he saw Captain Montgomery standing with Ryan and Esposito. "A cop's partner is family."

Giving the captain a slight smile, he turned back to the doctor with a look of hope in his eyes. "Please, doctor."

Letting out a sigh, the doctor nodded and directed him where to go. With one more kiss for Alexis, he walked out of the waiting room and down the hall, nervously pulling at his jacket as he followed the doctor. When they stopped outside of a room, the doctor paused before letting him go in.

"5 minutes," he explained as he reached for the door handle.

As the door swung open, he paused as he looked in and saw her lying on the bed. There were machines beeping around her, which gave him a little sense of peace. As long as the machines were beeping, she was all right. Wiping his hands on his jacket, he slowly walked in, grabbing a chair as he walked over to the bed. She looked pale, but peaceful. He could no longer see blood on her chest, but instead a hospital gown covering a large bandage. She had tubes in both arms, giving her medicine and blood, but she was alive. That was all that mattered.

As he set the chair down next to the bed, he tried to be as quiet as possible. She needed her rest and he didn't want to disturb her. He reached out and took her hand as he sat next to her, just staring at her sleeping form.

She looked so peaceful. A small smile came across his face as he reached up and gently brushed aside the hair from her face. He let the back of his hand gently touch her cheek as he took in a breath. Had he been holding it?

"You have to get better," he said softly. "The captain is concerned that his closure rate will go down if you don't. Ryan and Esposito would be lost without you there." He paused for a moment as he touched her soft cheek. "And so would I. How am I supposed to be able to write more Nikki Heat stories without you? You're my inspiration."

Pulling his hand back, he used both hands to grip hers and bring it to his lips. "You're everything to me," he said softly as he kissed her hand. Looking at her peaceful face, he felt tears rolling down his cheek. "You don't just inspire my writing," he explained. "You inspire my life. You make me want to be a better person. I want to be a better person for you because you deserve so much more than I could ever give you. I can't lose you. I'd be lost without you."

Getting up from his chair, he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. "I love you."

Sitting back down, he leaned his head onto his hands, which still held on to hers. He had nothing left. It was all up to her now.

The sound was barely audible, but he had heard it. Looking at her in anticipation, he saw her eyes begin to move as she let out another soft moan.

"Kate?"

When her eyes slowly began to open, he let out what could only be described as a sigh of relief as fresh tears flowed down his face. After a couple of blinks, she turned her head towards him as she gripped his hand lightly. "Castle?"

"Yeah, it's me," he replied as he used his free had to wipe away his tears. "How are you feeling?"

Letting out a soft groan, her brow scrunched up as she tried to move. "Like someone shot me."

Smiling slightly, he squeezed her hand gently. "It wasn't me."

A sense of relief spread over him as he saw her give a small smile. "Did they get him?"

Letting out a small laugh, he could only shake his head. Only Beckett would think about catching the bad guy while she was in the hospital. "Yeah," he explained. "They got him."

"Good," she said softly as her eyes began to close.

"You should rest," he told her as he reached up to touch her hair. "You've had a hard day."

"Yeah," she said, almost as if asleep. "Not good."

"It'll get better. Just sleep."

He could feel her grip on his hand loosen as she drifted back to sleep. Taking in a deep breath, he let out a sigh as he ran his hand down his face. She was all right. That was all that mattered to him. She was all right.

* * *

><p>He had quite a spring in his step as he walked down the hospital corridor. Everything was right with the world. Beckett was on the mend and today was the day he would tell her how he really felt. He knew he should probably feel nervous, but at that moment, he was the happiest man alive because she was alive. He wasn't going to waste any more time with her. This was it.<p>

The smell of the flowers in his hand just added to the mood as he heard laughter flowing into the hall. A smile came across his face as he realized whose laughter it was. He thought he might never hear that laugh again. It was definitely a good day.

Rounding the corner into her room, he smiled as he said, "Why, Detective Beckett, what has you…" He stopped and his smile faded as he walked in and saw Josh sitting next to the bed, holding her hand. "…laughing… so… much."

"Castle." Her smile got just a bit brighter as he entered the room, flowers in hand.

"Hi."

Josh looked between the two of them as he cleared his throat. "I was just telling Katie about my adventures trying to get back to town," he explained, squeezing her hand slightly as she gave him a smile.

Pausing slightly to regain his composure, he smiled as he put the flowers on the table next to the bed. "Well, it looks like I'm interrupting, so…"

"Wait…"

He felt a shiver go down his spine as he felt her hand take his. Turning back to her, he gave her a slight smile. "I hear I have you to thank for saving my life," she revealed. "The doctors said that if you hadn't done CPR on me, I probably wouldn't have made it."

"You would have done the same for me," was all he said before squeezing her hand and turning towards the door again, but she wouldn't release his hand.

"Rick…"

Her use of his first name caught him off guard as he turned to look into her beautiful eyes.

"Thank you."

Giving her a warm smile, he simply said, "Always."

Going against all gut instincts, he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. "Just get better."

As she felt his kiss on her forehead, a faint memory seeped into her mind. Something about that seemed… familiar. She couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness as he turned and walked from the room. She wished he had stayed longer.

"So," Josh continued as she tried to focus her attention back on her boyfriend, "with all that crazy driving, I'm amazed I got here in one piece. As it was, I didn't get her until about 10."

"10?" she asked as she looked at the clock. "You weren't here last night?"

"No," he replied as he squeezed her hand.

Scrunching up her brow, she raised her hand to touch her forehead. "I could have sworn you were here."

"Nope," Josh replied with a sigh. "Just Castle. He wouldn't leave until this morning."

A sudden realization came to her as she looked to the door where he had left: The kiss on the forehead. Someone had done that last night and she just remembered what he had said:

"_I love you."_


End file.
